It’s time to stop fighting (part 2)
(read the first part: The Endless Spiral: When Is the Right Time To Stop Fighting?)
Moving on is tricky. We keep asking ourselves when is the right time to be able to fully move on from the past, unfolding a new chapter, welcoming a new person, and clicking the restart button.
The sole reason such a question exists in the first place is that we are yet ready for the aforementioned. We hesitate, we keep holding onto hope that, perhaps, all of these abandoned feelings and being an outcast is temporary. We are wishing to the stars that all of this is just a nightmare, the kind that can disappear by waking up the next day. We are expecting all of this to end, as quickly as how a fireman eliminates the burning flame.
But, the brutally honest reality is that it is not. It is a fact, that everything in our lives has changed into something we thought we could never live in. We lost a person we once called best friend and soulmate. We lost our significant source of happiness. We lost both our strengths and weakness. And without realizing it, we are living a life full of anxiety and regrets. The what-ifs scenario relapsing in our heads, and we are feeling terribly scared of not getting back to the joyous being we once were.
Then, everything feels like an endless cycle, it’s a spiral. Thus, we can’t help but wonder when is the right time to stop fighting… as I’ve said previously in the first chapter.
If you are in similar circumstances, I can confidently say that you don’t need to worry because there will absolutely be a moment when everything just snaps. A moment that makes your heart cold, your mind freeze, shut down your feeling, and everything finally stops. Eventually, you realize that this is the right time to stop fighting.
And every situation certainly will differ from one person to another as every tale has its own twists and turns. Every story has its own characteristics, something that you cherish. Most of the time, such a thing is the trigger — something that is very personal for both of you is the key to unlocking the stubborn heart and mind.
A little story of my moment, which is actually very simple, yet it is the precise dose of what I needed to stop myself from entertaining my thoughts of us — the long-gone us. It was when the music stopped. It was when my personally curated playlist filled with songs all about him was already irrelevant. It was when he paid attention to other tunes, devised by another person. It was when all of these stories here were meaningless to him.
After everything, I realized being a utopian has its costs, especially for something (or someone) that is outside of your reach, and decided to stay accordingly. Now, I realize that even if the facts he walked into my life like a miracle, something I treasure but came out of nowhere, it is momentary, and he can disappear like a lucky charm losing its function. Disastrously, he really did it. My miracle vanished like what happened to Cinderella when the bell rang at midnight.
But, at least now, the spiral ends. Now, I am able to start a new chapter, to let another remarkably lovely person in, and to click the restart button. Now, I am able to stop fighting, in my mind, in my actions, and in my prayers.
