In a world filled with endless opportunities, being ambitious feels like a must. Continuously and unconsciously craving for more, even those that are unnecessary. Punishing ourselves for being behind. Sometimes, all we need is a simple “I’m proud of you”.
“What is it with you and your constant self-criticism?” “It’s the lack of affirmation for everything I did.”
Driven by myself. Steered by rational. Navigated by anger. Because, at least, those are permanent. Unlike the first cluster’s affections and attentions.
Uncomfortably sitting. Eagerly arguing.
Tightly closing my ear. Slightly hearing the screams.
Messily crying my eyes out. Endlessly hoping it stops.
It did. But it was repeated the next week.
Poisonous apple. Massive thunder.
Deadly forest. Extreme storm waves.
You thought they were the worst? You should’ve seen what’s happening under one’s roof.
Being tough comes with its consequences. A heart that used to be as soft as silk becomes hardened.
A mind that used to see the silver lining becomes stubborn. A complete soul is torn. Everything seems like a downturned.
But to be tough is not a choice. We are forced by the atmosphere, making sure we are capable of surviving.
We are compelled by the spell in the sentences; if not, we conceivably lose our marbles.
That is how we are wired, like tangled cables. That is how we are designed, like unsolved puzzles.
“Why do you always have to be ambitiously determined? It’s exhausting to witness.” “Because my accomplishments won’t leave me alone when I’m not feeling myself, it’s a permanent part of me that not a single soul can take away, even if everything else is ripped off of me, including my sanity.”
3 shots of caffeine a day to tick the unchecked lists.
Pushing till the last drop of our sweat. To fulfil our wallet.
Punishing if some are unfinished, Oftentimes forgetting that, after all, we are human.
