A Brief Letter to 5-Year-Old Ghina: A Self-Reflection of the Past & A Reminder of the Present

I hope you’re proud of how far you’ve come and the woman you’ve become :)

Disclaimer: This is not an inspiring, attractive, or motivational story. This is a story about life. It’s about a wish from a 21-year-old woman to a 5-year-old girl. A self-reflection and reminder for many.

It’s beyond challenging to blend in and fit in, even in the smallest cluster of society; like your family. For an innocent 5-year-old girl, she thought that her own perception of herself was the worst, but it got even worse when other 5-year-old girls fed those bad thoughts even more. They bullied her, locked her up, and even coerced her to give them money. How are little girls even capable of doing such things? How come? What’s more frustrating is that the bullied girl couldn’t say a word to defend herself, she was just stunned, unable to express her feelings as she was always labeled as different. As if her difference justified the bullies to do those things to her. But, alas, at 5 years old, we’re too naive and would believe whatever people say about us. A 5-year-old can’t judge and immediately know what’s right and what’s wrong, what’s just and what’s not. And so, their actions got to her and were stuck inside her mind. But eventually, she realized she was so much more than what they made her believe. Then eventually, she believed that she was worthy and that her difference was instead her power to thrive.

I’ve heard people ask questions, “What part of your life that you wish you could change if you had the opportunity?”. Some would answer, let it be as it is, as they believe that everything happens for a reason. Of course, I agreed with them wholeheartedly. But even so, if I had the chance, I would definitely go back to when I was five. I would tell my 5-year-old self that she was her own soldier, that she was remarkably unique. Therefore, she should stand up to those bullies for doing such horrible things to her and stop the dominos of their acts from falling to other people. But most importantly, I would tell her that she is no less than anybody and that they were also no less than herself. That we are all equal as human beings and should always be kind towards each other.

But of course, we can’t change the past. What happened has happened, and my past will always be a part of me that I’ll carry everywhere I go. A part of me that molded me into the person I am today. But I do want to say thank you to 5-year-old Ghina. Thank you for surviving those tough times, even if you were on the brink of tears whenever things got too rough. Thank you for making this 21-year-old woman understand the importance of respecting and accepting everyone, regardless of their background. Thank you for putting those experiences together and letting them shape her way of thinking. My way of thinking. Last but definitely not least, thank you for making those moments a compass that directs my decisions in life and making my own moral conscience; to continuously strive to do what is right and not what is easy, even if it takes a lot of sacrifices.

Today, I can now blow the candles on my cake with less burden in my heart, as I’ve already accepted my past, and now I am content with myself. May this new age bring more opportunities for me to do good and leave an impact wherever I am going and whichever step I take.